Its oh so quiet......

Shhhhhhh!!

I love getting up early before the guys wake and just enjoying some peace and quiet. I can just mill around and do whatever. Its nice. The two of them look so cute together asleep in bed. The wolverine likes to drape his leg over daddy and occassionally kick him....its very funny....although not so much for daddy.

I have the worst kink in my neck.....looks like i will be visiting the chiropractor today if i want to be able to turn to the left.

Wasnt that storm last night amazing? It moved in so fast. We had the blinds up on our living room windows so we could watch. The wolverine woke up at one point and we were laying together listening to the thunder. I was talking to him about thunder and asking if he heard it. He was so interested he fell back asleep.


Ive been thinking alot lately about behaviour and discipline...obviously ....i have a toddler who is testing the boundaries and finding who he is a little bit more everyday . Sometimes i think im not doing that great of a job instructing him and helping him along on his journey. Here are some things Dr. Sears and Co had to say on the subject.

TOP TEN DISCIPLINE PRINCIPLES
1. GET CONNECTED EARLY
Discipline is grounded on a healthy relationship between parent and child. To know how to discipline your child you must first know your child.
2. KNOW YOUR CHILD. Know your child's needs and capabilities at various ages. Your discipline techniques will be different at each stage because your child's needs change. Know Age-appropriate Behavior. Many conflicts arise when parents expect children to think and behave like adults.
3. HELP THE CHILD TO RESPECT AUTHORITY
"Honor thy father and thy mother" is the wise and time-honored teaching; not fear them. Honor implies both obedience and respect.


4. SET LIMITS, PRoVIDE STRUCTURE
Establish rules, but at the same time create conditions that make the rules easier to follow. Children need boundaries.

5. EXPECT OBEDIENCE
Your child will be as obedient as you expect, or as defiant as you allow. When we ask parents of obedient kids why their children obey, they all answer, "Because we expect them to." When you insist on obedience and help the child to get control of himself, you are using your power over the child in a good way that helps him develop inner controls. Remember, children want limits so that they don't feel out of control, and they want parents to stand by those limits. They keep testing the limits to see if you will uphold them. When you don't, the child feels anxious that no one is strong enough to contain him. To a child, that is scary.

6. MODEL DISCIPLINE. A model is an example your child imitates. The mind of a growing child is a sponge, soaking up life's experiences; it's a video camera capturing everything a child hears and sees, storing these images in a mental vault for later retrieval. These stored images, especially those frequently repeated by significant persons in the child's life, become part of his personality—the child's self. So, one of your jobs as parents is to provide good material for your child to absorb.

It's the overall impression that your child receives that counts, not the occasional blunders or outbursts. If a parent is habitually angry, anger becomes part of the child's self. The child learns that this is the way people deal with life. If a parent models happiness and trust, with an occasional angry tirade, the child sees a healthier model: People are happy most of the time, but sometimes difficulties make you angry. You handle the situation and go back to being happy.

7. NURTURE YOUR CHILD'S SELF-CONFIDENCE
The growing person with a positive self-image is easier to discipline. She thinks of herself as a worthwhile person, and so she behaves in a worthwhile way. She is able to forgo some willful misbehavior to maintain this feeling of well-being. When this child does misbehave, she returns more quickly to the right path, with less need for punishment.

Not so the child with poor self-image. The child who doesn't feel right doesn't act right. His parents don't trust him, so he can't trust himself. No one expects him to behave well, so he doesn't. The bad behavior cycle begins: the more misbehavior, the more punishment, which intensifies the child's anger and lowers the child's self-esteem, producing more bad behavior. This is why our approach to discipline focuses primarily on promoting inner well-being in the child from the beginning. Throughout life your child will be exposed to people and events that contribute to his self-worth and to others that chip away at it. We call these builders and breakers. We will help you to set the conditions that expose your child to many more builders than breakers, and, of course, to be a builder yourself.

8. SHAPE YOUR CHILD'S BEHAVIOR
Children are born with some behavioral traits that either flourish or are weeded out, depending on how the children are nurtured. other traits are planted and vigorously encouraged to grow. Taken altogether, these traits make up the child's eventual personality.
Most shaping of a child's behavior is a when-then reaction. (When Billy's room is a mess, Mom says "No more playing outside until it's cleaned up.") Eventually, the child internalizes these shapers, developing his own inner systems of when-then, and in so doing learns to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions. ("When my room is a mess, it's no fun to play there, so I better clean it up.") He learns to shape his own behavior.

9. RAISE KIDS WHO CARE. Being a moral child includes being responsible, developing a conscience, and being sensitive toward the needs and rights of others. A moral child has an inner code of right and wrong that is linked to his inner sense of well-being. Inside himself he knows that "I feel right when I act right, and I feel wrong when I act wrong." The root of being a moral child is sensitivity to one's self and to others, along with the ability to anticipate how one's actions will affect another person—and to take that into account before proceeding. one of the most valuable social skills you can help your child develop is empathy—the ability to consider another person's rights and feelings. Children learn empathy from people who treat them empathetically. one of the best ways to turn out good citizens is to raise sensitive children.

Besides teaching children responsible behavior toward others and toward things, also teach them to take responsibility for themselves. one of the most valuable tools for life you can give your child is the ability to make wise choices. You want to plant a security system within your child that constantly reminds him: think through what you're about to do. By learning to take responsibility for their actions in small things children prepare to make right choices when the consequences are more serious. our wish for you is to help you raise kids who care.

10.TALK AND LISTEN
Communicate with your child so she doesn't become parent deaf. The best authority figures specialize in communication with children. oftentimes re-phrasing the same directive in a more child-considered way makes the difference in whether a child obeys or defies you. Wise disciplinarians know how to open up a closed-off child and consider the Golden Rule: talk to your children respectfully.

Besides learning how to talk to a child, it is equally important to learn how to listen. Nothing wins over a child (or adult) more than conveying that you value her viewpoint. Being in charge of your child doesn't mean putting her down.

Each of these discipline points depends on the others. It's hard to be an authority figure, a good model, a behavior shaper and obedience teacher if you and your child aren't connected and you don't know your child. You may know the psychological principles of behavioral shaping, but shapers won't work if you can't communicate with your child. And even a connected relationship doesn't guarantee disciplined children if you fail to convey your expectation that your child obey you. These ten interdependent building blocks form the foundation of the approach to discipline on our site. Put them all together, and you have a blueprint for raising children who are a joy to be with now and who will make you proud in the future.




QUIET TIME IS OVER THE BOYS ARE AWAKE.